A black sheep walks into a baa....?

Currently I'm taking down some questions I really would like to know the answers of:

*Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
*Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
*How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
*Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
*What if there were no hypothetical situations?
*Why does your nose run and your feet smell?
*Why is it that if you tell a man that there are 400 billion stars, and he'll believe you. But if you tell him a bench has wet paint, he has to touch it?
*Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?
*If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?
*Can blind people see their dreams?
*If people can put up nude statues everywhere, then why can't we run around naked?
*Do sheep shrink when it rains?
*If your name as Anonymous, would you get credit for everything nobody wanted credit for?
*If feathers tickle people, do they tickle birds?
*If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, why are there locks on the doors?
*Why are boxing rings square?
*How do "please keep off the grass" signs get there?
*What is a free gift? Aren't all gifts free?

*Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?

I want answers, and don't tell me the sky's the limit because there are already footprints on the moon. I guess you could take this seriuosly or not, depending on your mood. I'm mellow today.